What Would You Give Up for Love?
Short Take: Love
As a rule, I don’t watch much TV, let alone dramas that require you to sit by the TV for a set amount of time on a set day each week. So I don’t know much about the various popular Taiwanese, Korean and Japanese serials currently in vogue. And I know even less about current popular songs from canto-pop, J-pop, K-pop and lolli-pop.
I do however subscribe to several Youtube channels, one of which belongs to Joyce Leong. Joyce does the most amazing piano transcriptions, and in listening to her work I am sometimes come across a tune that moves me so much that I have to find out about the original. Lately, I watched this:
There is a haunting sadness to this tune that really moves me, which led me to check out this video:
I don’t know the story and I don’t know Korean, but it’s obvious that the story is about a boy trying to save a girl against overwhelming odds. Risking everything and making the ultimate sacrifice.
Which made me think – what would you give up for love?
In real Life you probably won’t ever run into a situation like this. Hopefully not! But bringing things down to a more realistic level, what would you give up for someone you love?
I was curious and did a little research. I found examples of things people have given up which I list for your consideration. I have tried to list examples with no clear cut right or wrong choice judgements, but some I highlight in red because I personally feel they aren’t desirable and are danger signs you want to avoid if you want a happy Life. Then again, everybody is different and it’s up to you to make your choices.
Hobbies – Given up because of time needed/ demanded for the relationship, or because it is a source of unhappiness. For example if someone has a hobby such as skydiving which the other finds dangerous and irresponsible, or something deemed a little disgusting and objectionable, such as keeping reptiles.
Children – For example a widowers or single mother has met a man of her dreams, but her now-grown children do not like him. How does one consider such a choice?
Friends – Sometimes, the new guy is a fantastic person. Yet, for whatever reason, he just doesn’t get along with your new friends. What do you do, when none of these people is a clear-cut villain?
Family – When there is general disapproval over a wide variety of reasons, including some on this list. Other examples are when someone gives up proximity to family by migrating to be with someone they love who lives overseas.
Religion – When one person converts to the religion of his loved one, or gives up his own to be with her, even if he becomes an outcast by renouncing it.
Wealth/ Finances – When someone is disowned by his family for wanting to marry ‘beneath his station’. Often, people also find that love locks them into a situation that simply drains money by someone materialistic, spendthrift, or just irresponsible.
Life – Many touching stories of giving up one’s life in war, starvation, famine, poverty, and other suffering abound on the net.
Time – One of the most precious things you can give up is quality time which means less for yourself. Those who give up too much “me time” seem to suffer a lot for it though, and alone time is usually very important for recalibration and recharging purposes.
Habits – If being in love rids you of habits that are self-defeating, unhealthy, or disgusting, it’s a good thing! I personally know of many a guy who’s learnt to do laundry and dishes fast when they started inviting their girlfriends home, and definitely before they got married! On the other hand, there are people sacrificing good habits because their loved one has a penchant for junk food or hates exercising. That is an amber light to look out for!
Lifestyles – Like habits, giving up certain lifestyles may be positive or negative. Most people would regard having to give up exercising or being vegetarian a negative. Others might consider giving up clubbing is positive. Yet other examples, such as having ten cats in the house, are up for personal interpretation and choice!
Social circle – this is usually diminished secondary to other sacrifices which have their own associated social circles. For example, hobbies, religion, lifestyles.
Job – When you have to move to be with the one you love, or give up your job in order to take care of her. You may also be forced to give up a job you love for another one you like less, but which pays better, in order to contribute better financially to family. On the other hand, some people have also sacrificed promotions and good positions in order to salve the low esteems of their partners. This is a huge sacrifice for the wrong reasons and chances are the losses and capitulations won’t stop there.
Happiness – Probably the worst thing to give up on this list. Relationships should make you happy. Anyone who ‘loves’ you will not expect you to be together if it will make you suffer. That is not love.
Everyone will make choices through the filters of their personal values, core beliefs, principles and Life mission. Any of the above examples would be acceptable to some, understandable but not accepted by others, and outright anathema to still more people.
What would YOU give up for love?
Perhaps you should also consider: what have you given up for love, and what are you giving up right now? Would you do it again, or should you continue doing it?
Let me leave you with a quote from Mitch Albom:
“Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it.
You’re just passing it on to someone else.”
– Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven