In part 1 we saw that when you start to contribute to other people’s Lives, you sometimes run into unexpected unpleasantness. Such unpleasantness can make giving a horrible experience, which is not what we want. We looked at one of these energy drains – the user. I suggested ways you might deal with this problem.
Today we’ll look at another caveat you should consider – unexpected hostility.
II. Beware Backlash
One thing that you might encounter as you practise giving – especially if you’ve moved beyond immediate family and close friends to acquaintances and strangers – is unexpected backlash. This is negative reaction that can be especially disheartening (provided your motives are pure) simply because we are not conditioned to expecting it in return for acts of kindness (AOKs).
Some people are genuinely suspicious, and hey, it’s understandable. It’s not always a nice world out there. When someone – especially one we don’t know well or at all – does something nice, it’s normal to be suspicious. Too many people are ‘spoiling the market’ of giving. An acquaintance offers you a kind word as a funnel to sending you to an MLM meeting. A player offers a girl a compliment as a setup to getting her to put out. A stranger offers to help carry your grocery shopping and then runs away with them.
So it’s no wonder people are suspicious.
Does this mean stop giving? Read more
Becoming a giving person can be a tough process if you’ve never done it before. In fact it’s like starting an exercise program. If you haven’t exercised for years, you feel weak, get breathless easily, and ache the next day. But as you persist, you begin to see results. Small results at first, but they give you just that little boost to keep going. Each new success motivates you to do more. Eventually, it becomes such a natural part of your Life like eating and showering, that you no longer notice it every time you do it.
But just as injury or illness can derail your exercise programme, your efforts to make contributing part of your Life can hit a roadblock if you have experiences that drain you or turn you off.
So, just as we try to minimize injury potential, we should recognize potential leeches on your quest to contribution, and eliminate them swiftly and surely. In particular I want to talk about two things you should do to minimize potential unhappiness that can really affect your mood and motivation in this area.