Have you ever heard someone whining about how much he loves a girl? Or vice versa?
When I observe people in this and many other situations, I’m convinced that most people don’t know the difference between really loving someone, and only being in love with someone.
It’s been a while since I wrote about relationships, and I’ve been wanting to write about this forever.
Here’s how I see it.
In 2014, my CNY post was about CNY as a second chance for reflection, to get serious again on your resolutions. I reflected on how quickly and frighteningly easy it is to lose track of time and the goals you want to accomplish.
I encouraged you to do a stocktake, consider contribution, and do new things. I think it’s an article worth reading again and suggest you do that.
This year, I’d like to focus on something different : FAMILY.
In Relationship Qualities Part 1, we looked at six relationship qualities that are present in some of the most successful couples I’ve studied. Today we’ll look at another four.
7. Physical Intimacy
Communication creates emotional intimacy, but in a loving relationship there must also be physical intimacy. Humans are creatures of affection made to touch and be touched. From babies being tickled, to toddlers having their hair tousled, touch is a way of communicating affection and love. When we got older we hugged friends. When we started dating we held hands. When we found someone to love we made love.
These are acts of tenderness that communicate something important to each other. Emotional connections are important for bonding, but the physical connection communicates love and affection in a way that is exclusive to a loving relationship. Without it, what you have is just a very deep friendship. Both emotional and physical bonds work in concert to keep people anchored to each other.
In my quest to evangelize living a Full Life I’ve had the privilege of working with many people in great relationships. Since happy relationships are essential to a happy Life I’ve spoken to many of them about their relationships, and what made them a success and source of strength on which to draw.
We’ve looked at the individual qualities in a person which increase the chances of creating a great, synergistic partnership. But how two people interact and what results isn’t predictable, and relationships are based on emotions, not logic. What bridges that gap is chemistry, an ineffable quality that makes the sparks fly between two people.
It’s hard to predict what causes chemistry between two people, but it definitely isn’t just physical. It’s a confluence of factors that cause a special connection of souls and meeting of minds.
Whatever chemistry is, the happiest, most empowering relationships I’ve studied do have common qualities and we’ll look at ten of them. Having most if not all of these qualities, someone in such a relationship is almost guaranteed to have a rich and full Life, not one wasted on drama or toxicity.
Here we go!